The New Normal

As Micah's birthday approaches I have so many emotions. First, of course, I can't believe he is going to be 2! Micah was a hard baby and I feel like I wished away his babyhood, but at the same time we are so much closer because of how hard he was. I spent so much more time trying to soothe him and was up every night with him for 9 months. And even now he is still very emotional, and I feel like I am the same way, so I relate to him emotionally. It took him so long to outgrow the baby phase, so seeing him turn 2 is exciting but hard and happy and sad.

But also, Micah's birthday will be one year since our lives changed forever, turned upside down, and our "new normal" really started. The week of Micah's first birthday was when we found out he was sick and the same week we found out that I was pregnant with Maelyn. It was the week I started to feel morning sickness and also started all of the diagnostic testing for Micah. It was the begining of the longest year of my life. A year that I hope to never experience again. As I was first thinking about this, I had this feeling of, if I can just get through this year everything will be smooth sailing from here on out. But I now realize that this one year anniversary is just that, the end of the first year of our new normal. Yes, it was hopefully the hardest year, our kids getting several diagnosis', going through testing, learning all of the new information that goes along with those diagnosis' and on top of loosing our housing, buying a house, giving birth, and just everything else we went through this year. But the reality is that, for the rest of our lives we will have medical issues to deal with, they are not going away. We may have gotten through the first year but we still have open heart surgeries, heart catheter surgeries, and countless echos, blood draws, abdominal ultrasounds, and hospital visits ahead of us. That is our reality, our new normal. So here's to accepting our families new life, hopefully it gets easier.