One of my favorite kid books is so simple but I just love it. It is called Let It Fall, by Maryann Cocca Leffler. It gives me warm fuzzies because it reminds me of Pennsylvania and I love fall. As I sit here editing this post, sipping tea, the wind is blowing, the leafs are rustling and the grass is covered in yellow. Fall just has a feeling in the air that I can't put into words. This year though, I wasn't sure I was ready for fall. This summer has been a whirl wind and it has hugely significant in my life. I feel like I've come out of my shell shock and stepped into the light again. I feel like I'm back, but I wasn't sure if fall would be too much to handle. As much as I love fall, I wasn't sure I was ready for the business of fall or the anniversary of Maelyn's surgery. But getting back into routine and getting involved in things has made me realize more and more that I am back and I am surprising ready for fall! Ben has started preschool, MOPS and Bible study have started. Maelyn is still in PT and Micah just had a birthday! The anniversary of surgery is not looming over me like I thought it was going to. Granted, I've been pretty distracted...
I had been intentionally putting off updating the blog because August and September were, well, crazy. Tim and I realized that our life was just never meant to be low key, we will probably always be in a little bit of crazy, and I need to be ok with that. We literally sat down one night and had a discussion about how I would like this coming year to be uncrazy, settled and restful, while investing in our community, before we approach another surgery in the spring/summer. I can not make this stuff up folks, the very next morning, Tim went into work to find out that his company is shutting down all of Denver. That's right, all SMA America employees in Denver are going to be let go this fall. All, that is, except the 4 product managers (= Tim). At first they told Tim that they wanted to keep him on but move him to California. So I went into a little bit of panic mode, we are not, can not, move to California! Then the same day (again I can not make this stuff up) a friend sent Tim a message about a potential job on the east coast. So in one day it went from, let's really settle in here in Colorado, to, oh Lord what are you doing!? We have to move? California? There was also talk of a job in Washington (state.)? Or east coast? Can Tim just find another job locally? Do we want to stay here? Do we really want to move? Needless to say it was a huge shock but God is good and He has been giving us so much peace and as much patience as I can handle. He has been opening and closing doors and changing our hearts in the process. As of right now Tim has negotiated with his current company to stay on with them and work remotely from home, here in Colorado. This has been a huge blessing and relief. Tim is still keeping an eye out for possibilities to move us back east, however, with fall here and anticipation of another surgery, we are not feeling eager to move. This has all been so confusing. Since we moved to Colorado I have been begging God to either get me back east, or change my heart for Colorado. And after two and a half years of waiting on that prayer, it feels like He kind of gave me both and showed me how much my heart has changed for Colorado. But seriously, what do I do with that!? Isn't God funny. He always answers our prayers but almost never how we ask Him to. So the last 6 weeks or so we have been trying to figure out what we are doing. We've been getting the house ready, for either selling or staying. We've been praying for wisdom. We've been celebrating Micah! We've been busy. We've been kind of crazy, and I'm sure there is more craziness to come...
It is autumn, let it fall.
