Busy Busy Busy

Life has been moving so fast. I can't believe it's mid October. We have all be very busy. Ben is loving pre-K, Maelyn is still in physical therapy and Micah's just a three year old. If you've ever had a three year old boy, you get it. Tim has been traveling and also transitioning to working from home. I've been keeping myself super busy too. I've painted almost every room in the house and went through a major sewing kick thanks to Joann's fleece sale. I made the whole family matching fleece pants for Christmas! I'm so excited. And I made myself two other pairs of what I call 'Blanket Pants', they are amazing! When Tim travels I have a hard time sleeping because the bed is cold, so I usually wrap myself in a blanket before I get into bed, but with these pants I don't have to do that! And when I was buying the fleece at the store the lady asked me who I was making a blanket for and I was like, "oh, no, pants, for me". And she was like, "oh, pants? ok...".  Hence, blanket pants. Just wait, it will catch on.

On top of MOPS leadership and bible study, I'm officially joining our churches women's ministry team. I'm really excited to see where God leads me with that. I've also decided that I am going to try to really start writing, like books. I have super basic outlines started but now I have to figure out how to actually write them. I said this when I started this blog, and I still feel the same way, I am not a writer! I've never felt gifted in this arena, but I feel God calling me this way so we will see what comes out of it. I am blessed to have a friend who has volunteered to help me! So I am super excited to see where God leads us with this! Since our big summer trip I've severely neglected my Norwex business and it is on the brink of extinction, so I'm trying to get that going again.

We've been very grateful for this medical lull we've been in, where we can feel more normal and can be busy with things other than medical appointments. Both Micah and Maelyn have their appointments at Childrens in mid November, so start praying for those that they both get good reports and prognosis. We are hoping Maelyn's appointment will give us more information about the upcoming surgery. As much as we are dreading it, I think both Tim and I are anxious to get it over with and move past it. Having this major surgery, major life event, looming ahead of us but not really knowing when or what to expect has been hard. I've been bugging Tim for a beach vacation for years now because I love the beach. I haven't been in years and I feel like I need to go to refresh and ground myself to prepare for this next big life event. I'm to the point where I was looking into going by myself and leaving Tim home with the kids. We are trying to figure it out logistically and financially. Having a love for the beach is not ideal when you live dead center of the continent. But again, we will see what God has planned. These last couple of years has really taught us to just trust God for the plans and the bigger picture. I like to think we are getting good at it, but really it is never easy.

Behold, blanket pants!
And yes that is a little front pocket for my phone.

October 1

One year. This year has been long and hard but full of healing and growth. It has been one year since Maelyn's first surgery. Maelyn has come so far and grown so much. She started walking this week. She is starting to talk a ton. She has a pony tail! She is a toddler now. She is almost caught up on all normal developmental milestones. She is a miracle. Her oxygen saturation is still in the low 80's. She will have another hard open heart surgery in the next year. But she is strong willed, courageous, determined, self aware, silly, loving, affectionate and trusting. And those things make for an incredible warrior.

I've been wrestling with how to share my story and is it even my story to share, or is it my kids? But God has been showing me that I have my own story to tell and He has called me to do it. And Micah and Maelyn will have their own stories to share in their own time and they are going to be different than mine. I need to share all that God has taught me these last few years. God is calling me to tell my story, well actually His story, our story, of a mothers heart break but God's faithfulness, God's strength, and God's goodness. I have been trying to tell God that it's not time, I'm not ready, and He has been saying, it is always the time to share about me and of course you are not ready, you will never be ready, but I am ready to use you. So I'm going to start to write more and for the first time I'm going to stand up in front of a (small) group of women and share about my mothers heart. And I am so excited/nervous.

Not only is this the one year anniversary of her surgery but we also just had the two year anniversary of Micah's diagnosis. After my last post I realized that, as much as I love fall, fall has always been a hard season of life for me. It always brings the most change, which I hate, and it bring that sense of life and death, of mortality. But the reason I love fall regardless of all of all of that, is Jesus. God was able to give hope, beauty, new life and hope in the face of death. And isn't that is basically the story of our lives? With Jesus, there is no fear.